From my upcoming book, "Dates From Hell and Other Places."

Alfonso by Elyse Russo   Copyright 2015

What was I thinking?

A man who loved drinking.

My self-esteem was sinking.

We didn’t date for long.

His English wasn’t strong.

I couldn’t speak Spanish.

Although handsome and tall,

He chain-smoked Pall Mall.

Alcoholic for sure,

Not exactly real pure.

An awful catch I’d found

Was a case of rebound.

His career was the worst,

Since he drove a black hearse

And was an embalmer.

I’d ask, How was your day?

And he’d tell me his pay

For each body.

Remember the lady who drowned,

And the man who fell down,

Off the mountain?

I worked on them today,

With great pride he’d say.

And when out on a date,

With anticipation he’d wait

For his pager to start beeping;

Someone had died while sleeping.

A dark time for me,

Soon I set myself free,

He didn’t seem to care,

‘Cause he’d soon have plane fare,

For his wife to come here!